The Humans / The Radleys - Matt Haig

I thoroughly enjoyed The Humans, which makes effective use of an alien narrator to bring the flawed yet precious nature of human existence into focus, managing as it does so to carry off the difficult trick of being both moving and funny. The list of 'advice for a human' near the end is particularly memorable and uplifting.

The Radleys, which was written earlier but I picked up later, is another fun variation on the not-quite-human theme, about the chaos that ensues when the teenage children of abstinent vampires discover the truth about their family. This allows for witty explorations of themes of teenage identity crises (including some funny asides on veganism), destructive desires, and family secrets. I liked the twists in some of the character descriptions, such as the fact that the most depraved and treacherous vampire had saved his brother's life as a child. The only weak point for me was that it strained credibility to show parents - even vampire parents - and their children enjoying going clubbing together...

Anthropology of an American Girl - Hilary Thayer Hamann

This big book about the life and relationships of an American girl carried a review quote comparing it to crack, which I didn't initially give too much thought to beyond thinking that it meant the book was hard to put down. The more I read, the more seriously I took the claim, however - in a way I can't quite put my finger on, I found this novel both compulsive and disturbing, even a little unsavoury. If the aim of the book was to convey the powerful irrationality of love and longing, then I suppose it did so effectively, but despite my total immersion in the book while I was reading it, I didn't feel very connected to any of the characters, or really believe in their relationships or situations.

Three Shoes, One Sock & No Hairbrush - Rebecca Abrams

This discussion of having a second child has a reputation for negativity, which is to some extent deserved - it emphasizes "the feelings of frustration and failure that so many women go through when they become mothers-of-two", and I agree that it could be frightening for someone expecting their second. However, reading it nearly seven months into the experience, I found it powerfully reassuring, as my difficulties were convincingly described as normal, understandable, and (most importantly to me) temporary.

Many aspects of second-time motherhood that are covered here matched my experiences exactly. The postnatal health of second time mothers is described as much better immediately after an easier labour, but "in the longer-term, real physical recovery is usually slower". A sudden outbreak of demanding behaviour & even "systematic trickiness" is considered normal in unsettled firstborn children, and the tendency for mothers to react with irritation is described honestly and sympathetically ("the chasm between the delicate, fragile newborn infant and the robust, determined toddler was vast and unbridgeable, and into its depths plunged most of my parenting standards and ideals"). Jacky Fleming's cartoons are great, too - I particularly liked one of a woman cooing over her haloed baby while a horned toddler scowls behind her, and another where a woman with two children, asked how she is, replies with a confused expression, "Me?! Absolutely no idea, sorry." I felt strangely comforted by the fact that this book didn't shy away from discussing the extremes - along with confronting the strongly ambivalent feelings that motherhood routinely gives rise to, and quoting a mother of two who claims that "every couple I know is in crisis", Doris Lessing's desertion and Sylvia Plath's suicide are mentioned without condemnation. A Joseph Rowntree Foundation survey is quoted as concluding that "a woman's life satisfaction drops to an all-time low in the year after the birth of her second child". On a lighter note, there are some good one-liners, such as Vicki Iovine's painfully true observation that "a woman gets 'Precious Vessel' status once with each partner". Books by Adrienne Rich, Kate Figes, and Helen Simpson are also quoted fairly heavily, and would probably be worth reading more of.

A major theme of this book, which I hadn't previously considered, is that our cultural ideal of love, including parental love, is based on "a romantic model of two people locked in intense relation to one another", which is obviously largely unattainable when dealing with two children at once. I agreed with the observation that "most of the information and guidance we receive about mothering assumes that a woman will be relating to one child at a time", and felt relieved that I wasn't the only one when I read that "before our second child is born, instead of imagining ourselves loving another child, we imagine ourselves loving our first child all over again".

Another insight which was new to me, but obvious once acknowledged, is that "a first child is a shared focus, a joint project", whereas when adopting a divide-and-conquer approach to handle the practical realities of two, "children can become a wedge, pushing each parent in different directions, not only physically, but emotionally".

For me, the main value of this book was in creating a feeling of normality around some of the more challenging emotional upheavals of second-time motherhood. I didn't take away much practical advice, although I did appreciate the section on steps to take to restore closeness with the first-born, such as looking through their baby photos and remembering special times together, and trying to respond to challenging behaviours with affection and tolerance. The reminders on "looking after number one" through exercise, sleep, fun ("if you can't stand being you, try pretending to be someone else for a while"), relaxation & indulgence were also useful. Mainly, though, I enjoyed the reminders that "the first two years are undoubtedly the hardest", and "this phase - like every other phase - won't last forever". The only worrying point is the statement, taken from Robert Stewart, that "satisfaction in second-time mothers nose-dived at around eight months" - just over a month or so in the future at the point of reading...

The Book of Night Women - Marlon James

A powerful & excellently written story about a slave girl in late 18th-century Jamaica.  Her voice draws you in and makes you care about what happens to her in the compelling and dramatic narrative, but despite the promise of one reviewer that the book "whispers rather than shouts its horrors" I am ashamed to say that I found the constant random brutality too much and would describe this book as interesting rather than enjoyable.